NO - A WORD THAT HEALS

Professional Article

Abstract

Every good parent will want to react to what motivates the child at a given moment. Initial motivation often involves the deep dissatisfaction the child feels, which usually reflects the much deeper needs contained in the problem or intolerance. Dissatisfaction is one of the strongest motivating forces for change. Beneath the obvious surface there is regularly a lot of what the child is trying to present. Problems and obstacles are at their core significant, developmental, coherent, and potentially transformative. The energy of conflict is the energy of transformation. To honestly say how we feel and what we want and what we don’t want is important to our dignity and self-esteem. It is not used for fencing and maintaining personal space. It conveys the message: It is I with my interests, needs and desires! Used properly, it is a means of independence and defense against exploitation. It takes courage to speak out, because it carries with it the danger of conflict, but it takes to set personal boundaries.